Welcome!

This is Shirasade‘s fic and vid recs collection, starting 2015. (Unfortunately my recs from 2005 onwards were hosted on Delicious and went bust with the site, although I was able to import an old bookmarks list from 2010 into Tagpacker, and I’m currently in the process of adding the bookmarks from this site there as well.) Because I moved from Delicous to Tumblr and now WordPress, the older posts don’t look quite so pretty.

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Find everything sorted by Fandom and Pairing in the archive or by searching:

Hosted on Fandomish.net.

The Four-Letter Word, by ikudou

God, but he’s beautiful.

“Come here,” Shinya says, his voice suddenly hoarse. Suzuki scoffs.

“Oh? And I’m supposed to do as I’m told, right?”

The unspoken ‘after what you said to me in Blackpool’ is like a blow to Shinya’s soul. However, this isn’t the time for apologies or explanations.

“Yes,” he says, simply.

A beat.

“God, you piss me off,” Suzuki breathes out, and then he’s right there

Source: The Four-Letter Word, by ikudou – 10 Dance (2025) [Archive of Our Own]

Adult, post-canon. Sugiki and Suzuki, hiding in the loo after their dance… I adore their dynamics here.

An Unalloyed Good, by ajaystillblue

Evan pressed a hand to his face and whispered, “I don’t want to sound like myself. I want to be anyone else.” 

Self-indulgent, obnoxiously self-indulgent, some sad boy shit, as the girls would probably say, but he’d said it and he meant it. He wiped at his eyes and took a few shuddering breaths to compose himself. 

Jammer was quiet for a long moment then said, “I want you to be yourself, man. We all do. I want you—” He stopped and shook his head. He wasn’t saying something and it made Evan’s stomach twist with nerves. 

“You want me to what?”

“Nah, that’s…that’s the whole sentence,” Jammer said.

Source: An Unalloyed Good – Chapter 1, by ajaystillblue – Dimension 20 (Web Series) [Archive of Our Own]

Teen, Misfits & Magic season 1 canon-divergence. Jammer and Evan get together – and then go through it together, in somewhat different ways than in canon. I adore everyone in the Pilot Program and very much enjoy their interactions here as well, but ever since Sam saw the golden thread connecting Jammer and Evan for the first time, I wanted this for Evan…

Signs of Life, by jukoist

“You’re nicer to me than I expected,” Shane mumbles, shifting so his nose brushes Ilya’s wrist.

“What?” That feeling is back, that quiet fear lurking in the shadows. Ilya turns away from it. “I’m always nice to you,” he says with a breathless laugh. “I think your dick would agree.” 

Shane blinks up at him, guileless and confused. 

“Shane,” Ilya says hoarsely. The fear slips under his skin and grips his heart now, and it squeezes tight. Forces him to acknowledge it.

Source: Signs of Life – Chapter 1, by jukoist – Game Changers Series – Rachel Reid [Archive of Our Own]

Adult, canon-divergence. After being checked by Marlow Shane loses 10 years worth of memories. Which means no one except Ilya remembers them.

This is a great amnesia fic, made even greater by the amazing coding that went into text message and newspaper articles. A+ effort.

when you look at me like that, my darling (what do you expect), by Sungodlou

Then it hits him.

Painfully, harshly, all at once. What just happened, what he got so caught up in it almost hurts when it comes crashing down. Buck just gave him a blowjob. His best friend—a man sucked his dick and made him come so hard he nearly saw God. 

The hot prickle of shame pours through him so fast it makes his head spin, his hands are shaking as he tucks himself away quickly, buttoning his pants, not bothering with the belt. He feels a little sick to even have been thinking God’s name while he came down his best friend’s throat. 

Source: when you look at me like that, my darling (what do you expect) – Chapter 1, by Sungodlou – 9-1-1 (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Adult, CW for internalized homophobia. This is what I was looking for, because let’s be real, the only explanation for Buddie not being canon yet has to be Eddie’s catholic shame and self-hatred. This is another one of those fandoms where I’ve only seen Youtube videos, best friends-to-lovers with one half being a human-shaped golden retriever being my absolute catnip – but I refuse to start watching the show until I know if we’ve been queerbaited again…

Ilya “Good Boy” Rozanov, by auutumnie

Because Shane Hollander was perfect. Shane Hollander, who was talked about just as much as Ilya was. Shane Hollander, who had his parents come to every game, every event, every minute he was on the ice. Shane Hollander, who was young, but not stupid. Strong, fast, and competitive. It made Ilya feel, for the first time since he had landed in America, like he needed to push himself again. Not just for the fans, or his team, or even his family. He needed to be good for Shane.

Source: Ilya “Good Boy” Rozanov, by auutumnie – Game Changers Series – Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Adult, mild puppy play. Another entry from my favourite Hollanov tag, in which Ilya admits to himself (and then to Shane) that he very much wants to be his good boy. Lovely!

Shane Hollander, Pro Level Cowboy, by Itsallfine

“How is your team reacting, Ilya?” David asked.

He waggled his hand in a “so-so” gesture. “Mostly they are entertained. Yet another crazy Rozanov stunt. Some of them are even impressed that I managed to lock down the Shane Hollander. They think that you are way out of my league. I am getting a lot of shit, but it is not… cruel? Just chirping.”

“Of course they’re fine with it,” Shane said, the snark heavy in his voice. “You aren’t me.”

Ilya’s brows drew together. “I don’t understand.”

Shane snapped. “Obviously, Ilya! You come out of this looking like the big, strong, masculine, dominant top everyone always thought you were. I come out of this confirmed as every fucking locker room insult we’ve both been hearing since we were ten. I’m the little cocksucker faggot who likes to take it up the ass. Don’t you see the difference?”

Source: Shane Hollander, Pro Level Cowboy, by Itsallfine – Game Changers Series – Rachel Reid [Archive of Our Own]

Adult, canon-divergence. Some of Rose’s text messages leak, outing not only Shane and Ilya but also their sexual dynamics, forcing Shane & co. to find a way to deal with the inevitable backlash from his team. The solution: cocky Shane (yum!) showing some bottom pride (more yum)!

Take A Step Forward?, by dprkives

“Did I do something wrong?” Shane asks, his voice cracking on the last word. He detests being vulnerable and asking for reassurance, even from people he’s comfortable with. And he would probably describe this situation as literally anything but comfortable.

He bites his lip and hopes the blood he draws will distract him from the stinging in his eyes.

“No, Hollander,” Rozanov answers. “It was not you.”

“Okay, well, if it’s not me, will you at least look at me?” Shane snaps. “You don’t kiss me all night, except for that one time in that disgusting fucking bathroom, you don’t want to talk to me in bed, and now you won’t even look at me anymore. How am I supposed to think that that’s not about me? Do I really mean that fucking little to you?”

Source: Take A Step Forward?, by dprkives – Heated Rivalry (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Adult, canon-divergence. Shane sends the “We didn’t even kiss” – it changes things. The whole Vegas penthouse scene is just incredibly uncomfortable to watch, but how nice if something like this had grown from it…

limelight, by anyabarnes

Ilya’s staring. And he has been, for far longer than socially acceptable. Mr. Hollander is looking up at him, eyes sparkling with amusement. 

“Mr. Hollander.” Ilya swallows. His eyes flit across Mr. Hollander’s face. “Is a pleasure to meet you, sir.” Pleasure is an understatement, but he can’t parse through English definitions fast enough to find a better word. 

“Congratulations.” Mr. Hollander holds up his glass and nods towards Ilya. “No one deserves it more than you, kid. Your work ethic…” Mr. Hollander shakes his head, eyebrows raised, and lets out a low whistle. “You’re hungry. It’s impressive.”

Source: limelight, by anyabarnes – Game Changers Series – Rachel Reid [Archive of Our Own]

Adult, age difference AU. Rookie of the Year Ilya Rozanov meets hockey legend Shane Hollander… Feels a bit OOC but young Ilya being instantly desperate for a much more self-assured “Mr. Hollander” is rather delicious. And incredibly sexy.

back and forth from new york, by alphalupi

“Can you waive your no trade?” she asked, her voice gentle and her arms wrapped around him like she could hold him together by sheer force of will; she was doing a pretty good job of it, honestly.

Shane paused and thought back to that moment in the locker room where it’d started to feel like retiring as a Voyageur was no longer in the cards, thought about how he’d always assumed that would feel like heartbreak. But now he knew what heartbreak felt like, he knew that there was more to life than hockey even if hockey was so much of what made him him. He didn’t want to give it up, that was for damn sure, but he might just be able to stomach giving up Montreal.

Source: back and forth from new york – Chapter 1, by alphalupi – Game Changers Series – Rachel Reid [Archive of Our Own]

Teen, canon-divergence. What if Shane had left the Voyageurs much earlier and ended up in New York with (a still-closeted) Scott Hunter? I love fics where Shane ends up with a much more supportive team and people who see how awesome he is, and I adore his relationship with the Admirals (particularly Scott) to pieces. This is epically long and incredibly enjoyable, including the accompanying social media fic providing an outside POV. Amazing!

I’m Reading Your Lips (You’re Speaking My Language), by some1_around

Rozanov cocked his head. “You speak Russian? Or just the curse words?”

“Yes, I speak Russian,” he snapped, defensive and angry. He knew that it had been a mistake to even try to be friendly with Rozanov. “Why? Do I not look Russian to you?” He scoffed.

“No, not really,” Rozanov said. Some of his teammates laughed, although they mostly looked surprised that Shane was speaking to them at all. Rozanov didn’t laugh, though. “Are you Russian?”

“Go fuck yourself.”

Source: I’m Reading Your Lips (You’re Speaking My Language) – Chapter 1, by some1_around – Game Changers Series – Rachel Reid [Archive of Our Own]

Mature, canon-divergence. How would their relationship have changed if Shane was already speaking Russian when he met Ilya? This is such a great concept!