gravity, by whereshiphappens (xiiis16)
It shouldn’t be like this, it’s not fair. He never acted on his feelings, he never spoke of them, he never allowed himself to think about them because feelings are a distraction and feelings cloud your judgement, make you slow and biased and inefficient and Alec always fought them off because of this very reason, he always denied them to be a better soldier, unfazed by something so… secondary.
And yet, all of it, it doesn’t matter – it still hurts.
Adult. A wonderful, if incredibly painful, Alec POV of season 1, followed by some of the most feel-y sex I’ve ever read. Love it!