Coulson, for his part, stares up at Bucky with such a betrayed look of frozen horror that Natasha actually goes the extra step and presses another button, capturing the moment and airdropping the photograph to her phone for posterity. When he speaks, his voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. “Why…?” He swallows and starts again, trying for some semblance of normality. “…Why would you tweet something like that?!”
“If you must know, sir,” and somehow he manages to make ‘sir’ come out with the same inflection most people reserve for ‘motherfucking son of a bitch’, “it’s because I have a difficult time doing my job when my job involves monitoring the man with the best fucking ass in the United States of America.” He slowly lowers himself back into his seat until he’s at eye level, making extreme eye contact with Coulson until Coulson turns away to make mortified eye contact in Natasha’s general direction through the one-way glass. Natasha would take another picture, if she weren’t too busy catching Steve’s red-faced sputtering. “Sometimes, I vent to my Twitter followers. Sometimes, it’s about hot men with washboard abs. Can I go now, or do you need a graphic description of how I pleasure myself at night?”
Oh my fucking god, this cracked me up so hard! I’m not usually one for modern!Stucky unless it’s a complete AU, but this is just brilliant and made my day.
“It’s traditional with married couples to throw out any excess bums, couch potatoes, or hangers-on before settling into the honeymoon nest,” he suggested around a mouthful of foam.
Don was surprised by the attack, but he just moved forward with a damning, liquid roll of his hips and said with a thoughtful air, “I’ve always been one to buck tradition.”
Teen, polyamory. This OT3 is pretty much canon, imo – and this fic tells their story perfectly, right down capturing to the rhythm and whimsy of the movie.
[Part 1 of my fic challenge to write as many poly fics for the MCU as I can to jump-start my long dead muse. This particular combo (as well as this entire challenge) inspired by @missbeizy. This is less an overt poly fic and more a beginning stirrings stream-of-consciousness kind of fic that goes all the way from Avengers 1 to post-Infinity War. Hope you enjoy!]
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~~:{ Pepper }:~~
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He was awkward. But it was an awkwardness born of self-consciousness, not lack of social skills or confidence. It was hard for her to wrap her brain around someone who was equally as self-conscious as they were confident, but that was all just a part of the conundrum that was Bruce.
The conundrum that had become part of her daily life.
She looked at him working alongside Tony and it was hard for her to remember a time when Tony was the only genius in the tower. But she did remember that first look at The Avengers, when they were just flashes of moving images on multiple screens. Too much information for anyone but Tony to process at once.
