Brendon is his very best friend which is what makes calling Ryan so fucking hard.
The best friend tier used to be filled by Ryan, wholly and completely. Then there was South Africa, screaming at each other in a hotel lobby then grappling with each other into an elevator and pushing each other into each of the four walls of the little metal box as their lips tore holes in their souls.
Spencer in rehab, making amends. Oh, how I wish this was longer!
He’s paralyzed with fear and regret and a healthy dose of self-disgust. It’s just… Spencer, he’s not ready to move forward but he doesn’t know how to go back either.
And one look at him makes Ryan feel a little pity curl around his heart, a touch of guilt knock against his stomach. “You know I love you, right?” he whispers, sitting down next to Spencer on the bed and tugging out one of Spencer’s hands in order to lace their fingers. “Even if you’re not. I’ll be okay if you’re not. You’re my best friend, Spencer.”
Spencer nods again and somehow finds to courage to meet Ryan’s warm chocolate eyes. For a moment all they do is stare, but then Ryan’s thumb glides over Spencer’s cheek and Spencer subconsciously licks his lips in anticipation.
This time, Ryan kisses him.
Source: If Forever Comes, by mandy_croyance – Bandom [Archive of Our Own]
A haunting, bittersweet first time, told out of order in a way that is altogether perfect.
“You’re freaking Bren and Jon out, you freak.”
Ryan throws a bottlecap at Spencer’s head where he’s sitting across the couch, but inside he’s panicking. “Howso?” He asks, hoping his underlying panic attack isn’t too obvious.
Spencer leans back into the couch. “Apparently you’re being a little girl, which is just offensive to little girls quite frankly.” He grins lazily, and Ryan hates how his stomach does flips. It didn’t used to be like this. It used to just be Spencer and Ryan, not Spencer and Ryan and Feelings.
Source: Problems, by orphan_account – Panic! at the Disco [Archive of Our Own]
A funny little getting-together thing. I just really love best friends-to-lovers, okay?
