Sharing the Shiny

The first thing he does after the transition, after the hospital and the terror, and the agony of narcotic withdrawal and the agony of comprehension, of all that was done to him and all that he did, the first thing he does is ask, “Am I free?”

“Yeah, Buck,” Steve says in that slightly rough voice, the voice he used to get after a bout of pneumonia had him coughing and in bed and menthol smeared on his chest for a week or more. It used to be weird, hearing such a low voice coming from such a little body. Now the voice fits, and it’s the body that’s wrong. “Yeah, you’re free.”

Steve’s no liar. His habit of unrestrained honesty landed him with a busted nose more than once in the past, and from what he’s seen of Steve, the Steve that Bucky hangs on to when the world lurches under his feet, when he’s sickened by himself, when he screams, well, time hasn’t even scratched a nail on much less eroded that part of him.

Source: No Gods, No Masters, Just Me – Chapter 1, by OddityBoddity – Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]

Love this Bucky voice in this, but the secret star of this fic is Sam, who gets dragged along what’s supposed to be a quick revenge mission.

“Hey, Buck,” Steve says. He’s holding the shield and he’s looking hopeful but it’s tempered by caution. That’s good. The last time they fought, Steve was a little short on caution.

“I need help,” James says, letting the bag slip from his shoulder. It hits the floor with a metallic thunk. That’d be the handguns. “I need… maintenance,” he adds, not knowing a better word.

Source: Stem, by IamShadow21 – Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]

Love this Bucky POV and the intriguing premise of his body rejecting the arm post-Winter Soldier.

“You could’ve told me.” He speaks quietly, but the words are like the crack of a whip in the silence that has fallen between them. It makes Steve jump as much as Bucky, and startles him back to himself. He shakes his head. “It wouldn’t have changed anything between us. Hey.” Steve lays a hand on his friend’s shoulder again and tries not to be hurt by the look of surprise on Bucky’s face. “It doesn’t change anything.”

Shadowed brown eyes look back at him, searching his face for something Steve can’t begin to guess at. When Bucky smiles at last it’s surprisingly sad, but he shakes his head and laughs, and a moment later is simply himself again.

“You really never did grow up all the way, did you, Steve? Of course it changes things. But hey.” He lifts his glass, and Steve reluctantly lets go to join in the toast. “Who says change has to be bad?”

Source: Why Then Oh Why Can’t I? (or, 5 Times Steve Rogers Felt Awkward Talking About Sex, and One Time He Stopped Talking Altogether) – Chapter 1, by ladyblahblah – The Avengers (2012) [Archive of Our Own]

Steve learns something new about Bucky – and it changes things, of course it does. Because sometimes Steve needs some help to open his eyes to what’s right in front of them – and in his heart… Adorable and funny.

It scared him, Steve could understand that, one revelation too many these days. But Steve had stopped thinking clearly and one instant his eyes went to Bucky’s parted lips and the next he was diving for him.

He may as well have jumped from that speeding train after Bucky in the ice. That’s what it felt like Steve was doing, terrified and determined at the same time, clutching at Bucky’s cold, soaked clothes. Steve slapped a hand against the wall and crushed their mouths together so hard Bucky’s head bumped against the plaster. Steve kept him there with his thigh pressed to Bucky’s full length. Bucky’s hands went to his shoulders, but he didn’t try to break free.

Steve pulled back and a moment of paralyzing fear set in under the heat rushing through him that he had done the one thing that would make Bucky not want anything more to do with him. Steve forced himself to look at him. Bucky’s breathing had quickened and his mouth, a shade redder now, curved up in a shadow of its old smirk.

“Family, huh?” his voice was rough.

Source: Out of the Ice, by Paraxdisepink – Captain America – All Media Types, The Avengers (2012) [Archive of Our Own]

A mix of movie and comic canon, these two fics pull no punches, both when it comes to the damage that’s been done to Bucky and the hard, desperate edges in his relationship with Steve. It’s a long road, and a hard one, but I love how it slowly, slowly progresses.

Bucky keeps driving, not looking at Steve. “You gonna give me a blue ticket?”

“What?” Steve stops, frozen, and Bucky stops the Jeep and gets out and walks back to him.

“Not like you could think what you saw was anything but what it was. So I wanna know if you’re gonna give me a blue ticket and send me home.”

“You think I’d do that.” Steve can hear the hurt in his voice, and Bucky flinches from it. “You think I’d do that. To you.” He shakes his head. “Looks like neither of us knows each other as well as we thought we did. Go back to base. I’ll be there in a while.”

“Steve.”

Steve looks at Bucky and shakes his head. “Go back, Buck. I’m not very good company right now.”

Source: Falling Toward Apotheosis, by romanticalgirl – Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]

Steve catches Bucky fucking a man. Neither one of them knows how to deal with this fact. The Howlies just want their leading team to make up. – Love the progression here, slow without feeling artificially drawn-out.